Ladies, let me let you in on a little secret… Men actually find it sexy when a woman is into football. Why? Because they want you to have an interest in things they have interest in, and American football keeps their interest from August to February every year. That’s six months. Half a year! Girls, can you really go that long without ANY male companionship? I mean, games are on Sunday, Monday, Thursday and college games on Saturday and sometimes even Fridays! So if you want to spend time with guys, you’re going to have to watch a game or two with them every now and then.
Guys aren’t expecting you to know errything about football. I mean, you don’t need to know who the all time leading pass rusher is (it’s Deacon Jones by the way), but they would like you to know some of the basics of football. Let’s test your knowledge with what I call the FLEX: Football Literacy Exam. Get your pencils ready!
1) On the New England Patriots, Tom Brady (you know, Gisele’s hubby) is the one who throws the ball and runs the plays. What’s his position officially called?
A) Quarterback
B) Tight End
C) Ball Handler
Answer: While he may have a nice, tight end, Mr. Brady’s position is actually Quarterback.
2) During regular play, the quarterback throws the ball to the tight end (yes, that IS a real position!), he catches it in the end zone and scores. What is that score called?
A) Homerun
B) Touchdown
C) Beer Time
Answer: Homerun is in baseball. Yeah, your man might celebrate by cracking open another beer, but Beer Time is also incorrect. The right answer is Touchdown.
3) How many points does that tight end get for scoring that touchdown?
A) 7
B) 6
C) 1
Answer: Oooh, this is a tricky one for beginners! The correct answer is 6. If the kicker and special teams make the field goal after, or point after touchdown, they’ll get another point, making a total of 7. I don’t know who’s bright idea it was to make it 6 points, but it is!
4) What does “1st and 10” mean?
A) The 1st down and 10 yards to go
B) The 1st and 10th fans get a free beer
C) The first team to score gets 10 points
Answer: A. The offense (the side with the ball) gets four downs (or tries) to try to move the ball 10 yards so they can get another first down or a touchdown. If they only move 3 yards on the play, then the next drive is 2nd and 7. Two more yards, 3rd and 5. One more, 4th and 4. Then if the team doesn’t get a first down or score, the other team gets the ball. But I do like the 1st and 10th fans getting a free beer. We may need to run that by the NFL Commissioner.
5) Who are the current Super Bowl Champions?
A) New England Patriots
B) Los Angeles Clippers
C) New Orleans Saints
Answer: The Clippers are an NBA team. Not a very good NBA team, but an NBA team nonetheless. In my opinion, being a Boston native, it should have been the Patriots, but I’ll leave that one alone for now. The correct answer is C, the New Orleans Saints! Reggie Bush (aka Kim Kardashian’s ex) and crew won the 2010 Super Bowl over the Indianapolis Colts 31-17.
If you got all five answers right, good job! Now go take your knowledge to the nearest sports bar or your boyfriend’s basement and have a good time, enjoying the game, cheering for your favorite team and screaming at the left tackle for not covering the quarterback’s blind side (it’s not just a movie!).
If you got two or three, cozy up next to an athletic cutie at the bar and ask him to explain a few things to you, the positions, why the game is important… But don’t ask a million questions. He does want to actually watch some of the games.
If you missed all of them, well… There’s still hope for you. A number of NFL teams and college teams have workshops designed specifically for ladies, usually called “Football 101 for Women.” Check them out online.
And just one more thing… GO PATS!!!
This post originally appeared on The RAWBlog as a guest blog written by yours truly. Check out other guests bloggers from The RAWBlog’s Guest Blogger Week last week!
The Scarlett Letter 